


Biotechnical Difficulties

by MaatMons



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, Gen, Mimic Octopus, Pesterlog, Tech Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9933782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaatMons/pseuds/MaatMons
Summary: Never leave your computer unattended at the bottom of the ocean.





	

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: A)(OY!  
CC: Could you kelp me wit)( some computer trouble?  
TA: hey FF.  
TA: 2ure, what 2eem2 two be the problem?  
CC: I left my )(usktop sitting outside.  
TA: oh 2hiit! diid iit get raiined on?  
CC: Sollux, I live underwater.  
TA: riight, ii knew that.  
TA: 2o your hu2ktop ii2 waterproof.  
TA: ii hope.  
CC: Also, it doesn't rain underwater.  
TA: that two.  
CC: Anyway, it's been acting W-EIRD ever since.  
CC: I t)(ink it got a virus.  
CC: It was R-E-ELY c)(illy out.  
TA: FF, that'2 not how viiru2e2 work.  
CC: I know you can't get a cold just from being cold.  
CC: But it DO-ES weaken your immune system.  
TA: no, ii mean computer2 don't get biiologiical viiru2e2.  
TA: well, okay, they do.  
TA: becau2e they're biiotech.  
TA: are the port2 dii2chargiing mucu2?  
CC: No, but t)(e w)(ole t)(ing feels kind of slimy.  
CC: And t)(e keys are squis)(ier t)(an normal.  
TA: ii gue22 we won't rule iit out.  
CC: T)(at's not really w)(at I wanted your )(elp wit)( t)(oug)(.  
CC: I noticed I couldn't sign into Trollian.  
TA: but we're on trolliian riight now.  
CC: I )(ave t)(e mobile version on my p)(one.  
CC: You know, I t)(ink you mig)(t spend too muc)( time at your computer desk.  
TA: not true.  
TA: there'2 no 2uch thiing a2 two much computer tiime.  
CC: Sig)(.  
TA: ii beliieve you mean p2ii.  
CC: Dork. 38P  
TA: <3  
CC: <3  
TA: okay, 2o you can't get iinto trolliian on your hu2ktop.  
CC: T)(at was just t)(e FIRST t)(ing I noticed.  
CC: I tried goggling for a solution.  
CC: But all t)(e sites t)(at came up just recommended feeding t)(e )(usktop plenty of krill.  
TA: feed the hu2ktop?  
TA: the hell?  
TA: 2o, you're gettiing rediirected to phony 2iite2?  
CC: T)(at or t)(e internet )(as gone crazy.  
TA: both 2ound plau2iible.  
CC: O)(!  
CC: And t)(e Q key keeps typing ot)(er letters.  
TA: not the 2ame letter each tiime?  
CC: No.  
CC: Like one time it will write "Ow, t)(at's my eye!"  
CC: And anot)(er time it will be "Knock it off you bitc)(!"  
TA: that'2 pretty weiird.  
CC: I KNOW, rig)(t?  
CC: )(ere, I can get you more examples.  
CC: )(mm…  
CC: I pressed it a few more times.  
CC: T)(e first few, it just typed a bunc)( of curse words.  
CC: But t)(en t)(e computer started GROWLING at me.  
TA: you mean liike, a whiirriing or griindiing 2ound?  
CC: No, like an animal's t)(reat display.  
CC: I'm going to pus)( t)(e button some more.  
CC: O)( S)(-ELL!  
CC: T)(is is embarrassing.  
TA: what happened?  
CC: It s)(ot a cloud of ink at me and swam away.  
TA: oh for jegu2' 2ake!  
TA: another miimiic octopu2?  
TA: ii thought you 2aiid you octopu2-proofed your hiive after that la2t tiime?  
CC: I DID!  
CC: T)(e new locks are GUARANT-E-ED to be unpickable by even t)(e W)(ILI-EST cep)(alopods!  
CC: It must )(ave switc)(ed places wit)( t)(e computer w)(ile it was outside.  
CC: GLUB!  
CC: I carried it rig)(t t)(roug)( t)(e front door!  
TA: huh, kiind of liike a trojan.  
CC: Sorry, but I've got to go.  
CC: I )(ave to figure out w)(ere t)(at t)(ing )(id my R-E-EL )(usktop.  
CC: And t)(en call t)(e octopus wrangler.

**Author's Note:**

> Science says you're never more than 3 feet away from a [mimic octopus](https://xkcd.com/928/).


End file.
